Over the same weekend as the opening round of the 2008 24 Hours of LeMons season, May 10 and 11, Formula One teams were running in Turkey. It was an interesting juxtaposition - one series considered the pinnacle of motorsports, the other probably the cheapest and easiest way to get in a race car (and we employ the term "race car" loosely). There was even a segment in SPEED Channel's Turkey GP pre-race show that documented the expense and economics of F1 racing.

On the way opposite end of that spectrum is the most fun anyone can have in a beat up hooptie. LeMons racers and fans are familiar with the premise by now: a weekend-long contest for cars purchased, fixed up, and track-prepped for 500 bucks or less. There are a few other expenses to account for (which we cover herein), but in general LeMons is about the most cost-conscious way to emulate the side-by-side thrill of real racing.

The challenge has appealed to many, including our good friends Brian Kono at After Hours Automotive, Chuck Johnson at JE Pistons, and occasional UR.com contributor Annie Sam. Like others before them, they realized how much fun LeMons could be and set out to put together a team for the May '08 affair, enlisting JE's Travis Englert and NASA racer Martin Gonzales to round out the squad (we previously reported that Gonzales was also from JE, which is incorrect).

There is also another element to the enduro that attracted our intrepid group of road race geeks, one that Johnson pointed out and is applicable to any level of motorsport. "I was intrigued with the challenge of how to make a piece-of-shit car [survive] and perform well in an endurance race. The almost non-existent budget forces you think outside of the box for performance and reliability."

The Car

To go outside that box the team got into a box, or rather the boxy trappings of a third-generation Nissan Sentra SE-R coupe, otherwise known as the B13, its chassis designation. The SR20-powered compact apparently was the forgotten project of a previous owner, one that was to be a racecar but never fully realized, and the crew, predisposed to wrenching on Nissans, saw an opportunity to campaign a vehicle they were already intimately familiar with. Plus, they had tons of spare parts if anything were to go wrong.

LeMons vehicle eligibility is pretty straightforward, the rules stipulating that each entry be limited to a mass-produced, four-wheeled vehicle legal for U.S. highway use at the time of production. Vehicles need to be acquired and prepared for a max of $500, meet all safety standards (the cost of safety gear, brakes and wheels/tires is allowed to exceed the $500 limit), and the vehicle's original curb weight may not exceed 4,200 pounds.

So where does one find a $500 race car? Admittedly it takes some searching, but we hear craigslist.org is a good resource for beater sourcing. Another obvious query might be: what's to stop entrants from cheating on the $500 limit? Enter the BS-Factor judging panel, which docks teams one lap for every additional ten dollars it thinks you spent. LeMons is also a claiming race, meaning organizers can purchase your car after the race for $500 if judges think you've been cheating, or are full of crap on the cost of the vehicle.

To turn a bucket into a LeMons racer is actually a lot easier than one might think. While speed is important, stamina is arguably more critical (as organizers put it, "It's not like you'll be going particularly fast"), which is why reliability will serve most better than outright power. A POS with a strong motor really only needs a six-point roll cage, five-point driver harness, fire extinguisher and a few other safety odds and ends to be called LeMons worthy.

Safety

We'll begin with the cage, which was expertly assembled and installed by Kono at After Hours.

As far as rollover protection goes, there's nothing really super unique about requirements: the rulebook says that it must be at least a "professionally" made six-point variety, including a main hoop, two rearward braces, two braces extending from the top of the main hoop to the top of the windshield area, two main members extending down the A-pillars to the floor at both sides, a bar at the top of the windshield area connecting the two forward braces, and a driver's side door bar (Kono put one on the passenger side, too). Some form of shoulder harness bar across the main hoop is also strongly encouraged.

There are differing minimum roll cage tube sizes for cars weighing under and over 3000 pounds, and additional gusseting and bracing are recommended. Moreover, all cage tubing needs be padded with high-density roll bar padding wherever head, arms or legs may contact it. The LeMons rulebook even offers several places that can either sell you a pre-made cage or fab one up for you.

This is probably also a good spot to relate the rules on mirrors, which state that all racers must have at least one interior mirror and one driver's side exterior mirror for vehicles using an interior factory mirror. Panoramic interior mirrors (think JDM) don't require an outside complement, and all glass on exterior mirrors needs to be fully covered with sturdy clear tape. In fact, most glass - windows, head- and taillights - will likely have to either come out or get taped over, depending on the track's specs. (For the race at Altamont, the team was able to retain the windshield and both exterior mirrors.)

Kono came up with the one-piece aluminum seat for the Nissan (and the clever idea to use expanding boat foam for cushioning), a Kirkey Racing product that is more commonly found in drag and stock cars, and which rules say must have a seatback that reaches above the middle of the helmet or higher.

Project sponsor Deist Safety provided the driver harness, which regs mandate must be a five-pointer approved by SFI or FIA with an anti-submarine - or crotch - belt. That bad boy should be properly mounted per the rulebook, as well.

The team also sourced a window net from Deist, which was not mandatory but recommended. Organizers warn that if a net is installed it should be easily removed from the window, and all drivers on the team should be well practiced in removing it.

There is little leeway in the specs for safety attire, that is, helmet and clothing. The brain bucket needs to be an undamaged Type SA, Snell 95 or better. Non-SA helmets - like ones for motorcycling - are not allowed.

With respect to a driving suit, it has to be a full SFI- or FIA-approved fire-retardant variety, and full fire-resistant racing long underwear must be worn by all drivers at all times while inside the car (better hope your A/C works). Single-layer 3.2/A1 or 3.2/A3 suits are acceptable, but only when worn with fire-retardant long johns. Multilayer suits rated 3.2/A5 or higher are recommended and will allow drivers to run sans long underwear. Fire-retardant FIA or SFI-rated racing gloves and shoes are also a must.

The rulebook elaborates further on safety, going over the mandatory onboard fire extinguisher, how to properly secure the battery, and LeMons' organizers intolerance for antifreeze, airbags and fuel leaks. The team also installed some debris screens (pictured) in response to the race's reputation for being a dirty, contact-filled affair.

While race organizers dismiss most of the rubbin' as "incidental," more times than not you will take on some sort of damage during the enduro; any measure of survival that one can get away with is probably worth looking into. Poor driving, lack of car control, and intentional contact, chopping, or bumping are said to risk punishment (if caught) by pit penalties, tarring and feathering (their words, not ours), and/or expulsion from the race and/or series.

Birth of the Cluckers

LeMons officials define a team as one car and four to six drivers (no limit on pit crew and other support personnel). Interestingly, drivers don't need to be racers, and while you do need to have a competition license, if you don't have one when you get to the track, it's no biggie. Entrants can get a supplemental competition waiver at the track on the morning of the race, which runs $50 and is good for one calendar year at any LeMons race.

With car in hand and safety sorted, the group of racing friends needed a suitably goofy motif for their mock enduro effort. As Sam explains, it was the name of the team that led to the ultimate theme of the squad.

"It was supposed to be a Chinese take-out delivery car, because my parents own a Chinese restaurant. We came up with ideas like the Kung Pao Chickens, but a coworker came up with the name Mother Pluckers, and we ended up changing it to Mother Cluckers."

Racer's Edge

As Johnson alluded to earlier, the trick to doing well at LeMons - and really any racing - is figuring ways to optimize your chances for success within the limits of the rulebook. In addition to unrestricted spending on safety gear, there are other areas where teams are allowed to splurge, like exhaust systems.

While there's no limit on spending, there is a noise restriction: 92 decibels at 100 feet with a wide-open throttle. The regulation pretty much rules out straight pipes and the like, but this setup from After Hours kept the car conspicuously inconspicuous. Kono fabricated a 2.5-inch, header-back exhaust for the B13 out of found used parts, and piping and a straight-through resonator sourced from Magnaflow.

Brakes and tires are two other elements that are exempt from the $500 limit. Taking advantage of the loophole, the MCs improved stopping power for the Sentra with selections from Fastbrakes, principally slotted front rotors, pads and steel-braided lines.

Tire eligibility for LeMons is limited to DOT-approved street tires with a minimum treadwear rating of 190, and no exceptions. That means no slicks and no R-comp rubber, but that said, there are still a few ultra-high performance radial options out there worth investigating. The Cluckers went with the Falken Azenis RT-615, summer rubber with a UTQG of 200/A/A, which qualifies it for SCCA Street Tire Class competition.

Chicken Art

LeMons challengers have a lot of freedom in how they choose to dress up their cars (check out our coverage for the gamut: click here), but officials do mandate car numbering. Numerals need to be at least 12 inches tall and legible, either white on a black background or black on a white background. Any other combination needs to be approved in advance by LeMons staff.

Other than the numbering rules, the skies the limit on how crews decorate their whips. It's worth emphasizing that if you're lucky enough to get sponsors, one shouldn't forget some sticker love on their behalf.

With the team anointed the Mother Cluckers, the squad's B13 needed to reflect their fowl-ness for race weekend. The group came up with a plan to outfit the coupe with a beak, tail and comb (that's the fleshy crest that sits on many chickens' heads).

All three features were similarly constructed, using essentially a custom metal spine/frame, some stuffing and a colorful fabric cover.

The beak and comb utilized aluminum structures and felt covers, and were secured to the car via Rivnut fasteners, while the tail was made up of small-diameter stainless tubing and modified feather boas, along with more felt. The tail assembly was mounted to the rear deck with a big-ass bolt, and all of the ornamentation turned out to be surprisingly stout. It survived the raucous event, even after a handful of incidents that resulted in hard contact.

The final bit of chicken magic came from Sam, who donated the animal sound siren/public address system to the project. The 99¢-store find gave the Cluckers some audible "cluck", and actually came in handy during the race.

Since the team was running without radio communication between crew and driver (an oversight), whenever the person behind the wheel needed to come in, he/she simply turned on the PA's ice cream man-music. This was the signal for the trackside spotter to alert the other team members in the paddock that the car was coming in - a bit ghetto, but effective nonetheless.

NEXT TIME: The MC Sentra rooster gets shaken down, plus we arrive at Altamont and get a driver's view of the kooky 24 Hours of LeMons.

SPECIAL THANKS: Deist Safety Fastbrakes Magnaflow Dan Gardner Scion J-Rod Engines Moises Romo Super Julio Solis Team Mother Cluckers Photos: View more of Mother Cluckers: Image Gallery